Failed Camping Experiment

So, I've been out here for two weeks, and I'm starting to acclimate to my situation just as the weather is finally warming up and drying out. Not only that, but I'll have my disability the morning after tomorow. A lot has happened since I last posted:

I moved from my spot near the old Esco to spend a couple nights on a loading dock closer to my storage unit, after which I let myself get convinced to borrow an acquaintance's moldy four-man tent and move next to the freeway in the Pearl District. I've never done the permanent-tent thing and after three nights of it I've already decided to move to a loading dock as soon as I receive homless camping supplies from Amazon. As nice as it is to be around trustworthy acquaintances and to be able to sleep in, the cons BY FAR outweigh the pros: I'm right next to a freeway with its noise and pollution, the ground we're camping on is gross from the previous occupants who sullied the site with fires and trash, it's in the Pearl District and closer to downtown so there's less privacy and more sketchy passers-by, I'm regularly getting sidelong glances and outright hostile and disgusted stares because of the stigma against homeless camps, I'm closer to downtown, I'm farther from both the Friendly House and the storage unit I use daily, and because I'm on public property I anticipate we'll get evicted regardless how clean we keep the camp and how positive our relationship is with our housed neighbors. Besides, the "leader" of the camp gets a bit pushy and bossy, so it will probably be better for our acquaintanceship that I leave before I get angry about it.

Okay, I'm DEFINITELY moving back to the loading dock tonight. The "leader" of our camp just decided I need to move my tent to make room for another member of the camp...but on both sides of my tent the ground is too lumpy for me to slep comfortably on without an air mattress I don't have. I like the guy, don't get me wrong; I like not being pushed around a lot more — if I wanted people bossing me around I'd sleep at a fucking shelter. Besides, I'm looking for work, so eventually I'll be dealing with that for a good reason (for money)...well, at least I hope I will.

Frontier Justice

Last night was CRAZY!

At around 2300 some black dude in a whelchair rolled up to one of my neighbor's tents and started ransacking it after confirming it was empty. Of course when the occupants returned I totally told them what happened and described the culprit to them, because anyone who steals from the homeless is a planet-sized pile of shit. The fool returned to the scene of the crime at around 0800 asking them if they found a gray cell phone, and almost got stabbed with a survival knife and beheaded with an axe by the couple he robbed! Savage, but it's pretty much frontier justice out here on the streets: we don't have police protection or the means to criminally charge or litigate in the courts — cops and judges are our enemies, for the most part, because American society despises the mentally distressed and impoverished desperate citizens it creates. Of course, I found it all viscerally disturbing and barbaric, but I also get it; people need to realize all the undersirable and disturbing or destructive traits and behaviors of human beings are usually appropriate within their social context — the passive-aggressive complaining and lawsuits of Yuppies will just get you laughed out of the neighborhood or worse when you're homeless.

On a positive note, I got to see a bat fly overhead just a few feet above me around midnight. Bats fly around me every night because the old Esco property has been cleaned up and turned into an empty grassy lot with a drainage pond on one side, so there's a lot fo juicy bugs for them to eat. Yes, I love bats.

Evicted from Housing!

I left my housing at the Fountain Place Tuesday, after having lived in my old renovated Fountain Place building for only just over six months. Now I'm sleeping in a makeshift modular lean-to made of tarps and a sleeping bag and air mattress carabinered to a fence next to the old Esco property in Northwest Portland.

I guess I just stubbornly decided to be an asshole to Home Forward and to Pinehurst Property Management, knowing it would undo me. I could have been diploamtic in my complaints and criticisms, but I consider it inappropriate to kiss the hand that slaps you, and I firmly believe those who hold the cards in American society slap our faces constantly in underhanded softly spoken ways (just spend enough time talking to Amazon customer service reps on the phone!). I also consider it important for us to rise up against those in power and their underlings who wield authority over us and stand up for ourselves, even if it results in calamity; being convenience-obsessed narcissistic cowards has enslaved us to predatory Big Business and to a corrupt and dysfunctional not-all-that-democratic government, while simultaneously empowering all the devils of our natures into becoming belligerent, deluded, violent Stasi informants. Being a nice guy and having good manners and treating others with civility has nothing to do with sticking it to The Man, whomever that person may be for each of us (for me it was the local housing authority and their property management contractors).

Besides, why should I have been sweet on the povery pimps and their slumlords? I was thrown out for talking shit and being a jerk, but as I type there's punk kids in unit #403 disturbing their neighbors with fights and loud music on a daily basis, and I know for a fact there's at least two highly active drug dealers in the building. Kicking me out was an act of spiteful revenge, not a calculated response to a threat to the property or to my neighbors' physical and mental well-being. Not only that, but the construction company in charge of the Fountain Place renovation abandoned the project before it was complete! There's gaps between the floors and the walls, also the walls and the ceilings, throughout the building; there's exposed wiring visible here and there; the fountan and the entrance marquee were never replaced like they were supposed to (because it's now on the historical registry); the courtyard is still hazardous to walk on when wet; and the back entrance is full of street-trash dopers and freaks whenever it gets dark out, making it unsafge to use half the day. I had a feeling I would be disapointed or worse when I returned: this is what I waited three years to return to!? The entire time I lived there I felt like a squatter instead of a dweller.

lol Of course I got completely soaked my first night outside! I was smart and paid for a public storage unit (no way I'm going to lose all my bike frames, parts, and tools!) and Friendly House membership and one of the lockers at the community center...but I was pretty dumb and got wasted with Gino that night and failed to properly batten down my lean-to hatches. Were it not for the public strage unit I wouldn't have been able to dry out my sleeping bag, also were it not for my Friendly House membership I wouldn't have ben able to shower and change into dry clothing and warm up to a hot cup of tea. Alas, I'm going to be broke until I receive my SSI on the 27th, so I won't have many opportunities to repeat my folly...though, really, I'm getting tired of drinking. One thing I must say, however, is that I lucked out and have a couple "neighbors" I don't have to worry about; one of them even has this crazy cool shaggy dog that's a mix of Pomeranian, si tsu, and Chihuaha.

Still, it gets awfully boring out here! And, thanks to being both homeless and disabled collecting SSI I have no idea when I'll be able to return to work part-time. I'm going to have to start volunteering, if I'm to engage in life a little more fully than just siting at the Friendly House all day eating Chef Boyardee and putzing around on the computers waiting for my electronics to charge.