If there's one thing that happens to you after living on the streets for a while, is you just get so sick and tired of everyone's bullshit.
Well, I am. Nobody's normal out here, and hardly any of them are even agreeable to me because they're too crazy, too creepy or thuggish, too strung out on dope, or are just run-of-the-mill boorish louts. And, the longer you live out here the worse you and everyone around you gets: the constant stress, all the idiotic drama, and the oppressive weight of the stigma we all bear chisel away at the character we each possess that specifically pertains to engagement with the social contract — in my case, I just don't care anymore about playing nice with the neighborhood Yuppies that ignorantly despise me and seek to criminalize me and shove me in a ghetto where they can't see it's all just a little Dutch boy's fingers stuck in the crumbling dyke of the American Dream. I even only minimally interact with my peers now, because as far as I'm concerned, they're each of them some combination of bore, annoyance, competition, and threat (besides I really can't relate to members of younger generations or hard drug users).
So, I pretty much just stick to myself, at present desperately trying to find ways to occupy my time more constructively (and economically!) than meandering from perch to perch throughout the neighborhood drinking crappy beer. It's pretty boring and lonesome right now, but it won't last too much longer. As much as I dislike it, I'm going to resume canning, because I'm unemployed and have WAY TOO MUCH TIME on my hands. I'm also going to set up a few weekly litter pick-up crews next month, when I can afford the necessary supplies, though I won't lift a finger to clean up Yuppieland — all my good citizenry will be applied to the nearby industrial neighborhood. I'd also like to volunteer at a local food pantry, but I'm having a hard time getting a hold of the one person at the one place who would probably let me work there even though I have an active arrest warrant; I may just have to show up in person. As for whether or not return to work in the near future, I doubt it: my storage unit access hours make me available only a limited time during the day, also there's the matter of the stupid warrant. Hell, maybe eventually I'll start a couple weekly game sessions of some kind?
Ugh. Whatever the case may be, it's all bullshit. Even when you manage to insulate yourself from it as best as you can, it still hovers around you like the odor of a nasty crap in those cheaper doggie poo bags made from porous plastic. And it affects you, no matter what preventative measures you take. lol Not only that, but you get more and more full of shit yourself as time passes.
